By Matt Henslee
Recently, a post on a Facebook group asked pastors, “What’s the most unbiblical thing someone has said to you?” Sadly, within 24 hours, the post had accumulated well over 100 comments.
We love the work faithful pastors do “in the trenches” of gospel ministry, even if it’s ignored or maligned by a knucklehead or two.
Here are ten ridiculous statements people have said to pastors:
- “Your church family comes before your personal family.” Friends, while you shouldn’t sacrifice your ministry on the altar of family, don’t you dare sacrifice your family on the altar of ministry.
- “Just don’t forget; you’re only the preacher. You’re here to marry, bury, and preach, but not lead or make decisions.” Do you even Hebrews 13:17?
- “Without committees, we’re not a biblical church.” Hey, committees are great, but a biblical church they don’t necessarily make.
- “I’m not talking about the Bible; I’m talking about the bylaws.” As it’s written, “For the bylaws are living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword.” CSB, updated.
- “Quit quoting Scripture; the Bible has no place in a business meeting.” I got nothing.
- “We’re NOT going to go door-to-door and evangelize; that’s what we pay you to do.” Somehow, I missed that part of the Great Commission.
- “I want you to close your Bible and open your heart.” No, no, no. Don’t do this. Jeremiah 17:9.
- “I know what the Bible says, but we have to do what’s right.” Translation: “We’re wrong.”
- “The church shouldn’t need to change its traditions, style, or music. If the lost world doesn’t want to come to the church as it is, they can stay lost and go to hell.” Sigh. I got nothing. That’s just bad.
- “We’re already saved. We don’t need to hear the gospel every time someone gets up in the pulpit.” As John Piper wrote in When I Don’t Desire God, “Hearing the word of the cross … is the central strategy for sinners in the fight for joy. Nothing works without this. Here is where we start. And here is where we stay. We never outgrow the gospel.”
Oh, and here’s a bonus story:
I had a pastor want to bring me on staff with a part-time salary to work with the church’s students. He asked me what the minimum salary was my wife and I could live on (at the time, she was staying home with our six-month-old child). I said we’d need about $500 a week to pay the bills and that I’d also need to seek another part time job.
He asked why my wife couldn’t work, and I explained the cost of daycare would negate her pay and that she felt led to stay home. His reply? “Your wife is sinning if she doesn’t get out and help pay the bills.” It might go without saying, but we passed on the job.
Stories like these help us know we’re not alone. I encourage you to take a moment today and call a pastor friend or two, pray for them, and build them up. If you’re reading this and aren’t a pastor, well, please don’t say any of these things. Instead, take a moment to send a note of encouragement to your pastor.
In the comment section below, share the most ridiculous things you’ve been told.
MATT HENSLEE (@mhenslee) is managing editor of LifeWay Pastors, pastor of Mayhill Baptist Church in Mayhill, New Mexico, husband of Rebecca, and father of four beautiful princesses. You can also connect with him on Facebook and hear his podcast at Not Another Baptist Podcast.
What Every Pastor Should Know
101 Indispensable Rules of Thumb for Leading Your Church
Gary L. McIntosh, Charles Arn
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Ok, first of all. You pastors,
Men of God do a whole lot more than marry people, preach and bury people. Thanks to
All the pastors who motivate “us” as followers of Christ, the visits to the hospitals, the phone calls, the one on one prayers. Somehow it’s the little things that fall through the cracks. Those questions are hypocritical, in my opinion. Thank you ALL FOR WHAT YOU DO!!
Thanks so much, Tim! Grateful for the encouragement!
Actual comment made during a business meeting for a church I formerly served:
“We don’t have the 2/3 votes necessary to vote you out. But it would only take a simple majority to shut the power off at the parsonage. Lets see how long you would stay with no heat.”
I wish I was kidding…
That is INSANE!
Summa summarum: Respect, trust and encourage your pastor — love him in Christ.
Amen!
My last church had a popular saying: “Cut hsi pay and starve him out!” Thankfully, they only said it in jest. As I recall, it was a line from a musical the youth had done some years earlier, and it had become a running joke in the congregation. Alas, many churches do seem to operate on that philosophy, and they’re not joking.
First of all I want to thank each and e everyone for you for your dedication and service to the Lord. People are so blinded. We have met and maintained friendship with so many of Gods men and their families This is what is the downfall of many churches. The people try to lead the church and put God and the pastor last. It never works. The results usually end with members leaving along with pastors and it’s a never ending cycle. The church then just keeps spiraling downward. I have heard these same stories from men of God so I’m not surprised by them at all. God first then the Pastor. Its Biblical people. Please wake up before it’s too late and the churches doors are closed.
Thank you for your encouragement!
My favorite ridiculous thing said to or about pastors: “That’s an awful lot of money for three hours work per week”.
I once had someone say to me, “ You’re just supposed to teach the Bible. Quit trying to tell me how to live.”
Wow!
I had a church member stand up in a business meeting and tell me, “We didn’t hire you to teach us, I feel like I’m in school all the time here!”
“I prayed about it, and the Holy Spirit Told me to…” and we can play madlibs here.
Leave my spouse (for literally no reason).
Chew someone out (just to vent)
Leave a church because the wall color changed
Cheat on a spouse
Let you know that we need to (go with my preferences and tastes exclusively)
Let you know it’s a sin to give the kids doughnuts on Sunday mornings.
Y’all… not making any of these up. Some days I really do wonder why I’m doing this.
Lord, keep him humble. We’llnkeep him poor.
A complaint given to me by a young man: “All you ever preach about is salvation. That is all we ever hear when come to church services”. This young man had been saved out of a life of drug pushing where he stood on the street corners and sold drugs to teen-agers. He and his family later left the church. .
I don’t know your sermons, but that can be a legitimate complaint. I’ve seen churches where the pastor treats every Sunday like an evangelistic event to unbelievers. As a believer, I was not being trained and equipped to go out and do the Great Commission myself. Nor was I learning about my sanctification process. Everything we preach needs to be founded upon the gospel, and the gospel needs to be clear in our messages, but a pastor’s job is to train and equip the saints for the work of the ministry. It’s not to do the work for them. I would encourage you to not too quickly dismiss such a concern. There may be merit to it.
It was said more than 30 years ago. But I will always remember it: “God called me to run this church, and that includes running you.” When I challenged that deacon to show me where in the Bible that was, he said, “I don’t need that.”
Thanks for the good laugh this brought me. I know this is serious stuff for pastors who actually hear these ridiculous things, but it’s good to be able to step back and laugh about them. Laughing is always better than crying.
During a “town hall” meeting, where members were asked to share their thoughts about the needs of the church and community – “What we need around here is more preaching and less theology.” (while that might have been true, I’m still not sure what that means.)
After a “robust” business meeting where the decisions did not go his way, one man said, “I don’t dislike you. I haven’t known you long enough to dislike you.” (It didn’t take him long to get there, but his wife and kids loved our family!)
In discussing the Gospel Project curriculum, one young teacher said, “The material is great and well written, but the biggest problem I have is that it makes the whole Old Testament about Jesus.” (I had to break it to him that the whole Old Testament WAS about Jesus.)
While visiting as a special youth speaker during my seminary years, a church had a special business meeting and voted to fire the pastor (which split the church). Afterward, the head deacon said to me, “Pray for us that we did the right thing!” I just shook my head and walked away thinking, “You should have prayed more before you decided to split the church. It’s a little late now!”
Years later a pastor I worked under fired me as his assistant pastor saying, “Your too evangelistic for being a pastor, I think God has called you to evangelism.” I guess he never read where Paul told Timothy to “do the work of an evangelist.” These are just a few head-shakers I have heard in 45 years of ministry.
I know that there are those who say that I am NOT a pastor because I am a woman, but that is not important here as the comment that was shared with me can be for either gender: I was told one time that I should have outgrown being polite and respectful to folks. I should stop using sir and ma’am with those whom I did not know or know well.
Comments heard during my 35+ years in ministry:
“We’ve gotten rid of pastors before. We’ll get rid of you, too.”
Note: that guy died a couple years later and the congregation became a much happier group. Some churches are just one or two funerals away from good health.
“Stop doing those little Bible studies at the beginning of the council meetings. Council meetings are for the business of the church ONLY!” When told that studying God’s Holy Word IS the business of the church, he vigorously disagreed.
“Pastor, how often do you visit the members in the nursing homes?”
“They are visited every month.”
“I think they should be visited twice a month.”
“I agree with you. Come with me next month and I’ll train you in how to do that extra visit each month.”
He smiled at me and walked away.
Upon hearing of a planned decision by the church council a man exploded, “Over my dead body!”
I put my arm around his shoulders and said, “For you, George, I’ll do the funeral half-price.”
He was at first stunned. Then he smiled and said, “I bet you would, wouldn’t you?”
A person who was angry about a church decision (again) and was going to start looking for another church (again) said, “We’re going to keep looking until we find the perfect church, then we’ll join it.”
ME: “Good luck with that… because after you join the perfect church it won’t be perfect anymore.”
He scowled at me, but then he nodded his head, smiled, and said, “You’re right.”
“Stop doing those little Bible studies at the beginning of the council meetings. Council meetings are for the business of the church ONLY!” When told that studying God’s Holy Word IS the business of the church, he vigorously disagreed.
A while back, our pastor (of a new church plant) started doing those little Bible studies at the beginning of our staff meetings. I was a bit taken aback, kind of like “duh, yeah, why didn’t I think of starting meetings with a little guidance from The Word?” God has said that His Word will never return void; it will give us guidance on anything to which we apply it,
It could be worse. Find and read a copy of “The Devil In Pew Number Seven”. Want to run off your pastor, try dynamite.
Darrell, we did a story on that ordeal and spoke with Rebecca Nichols Alonzo, the author of the book. You can read our story “Forgiveness: The Language of Heaven” here: https://factsandtrends.net/2017/04/10/forgiveness-the-language-of-heaven/
Most Outrages for me: “Pastor the whole church is already saved why do you have to give an altar call every time?”
Once received a note written on a bulletin and placed in the offering plate by a mean spirited man… It was after a VBS announcement skit by our student pastor for a beach themed VBS in which he wore a pair of jeans, a hawaiian shirt and a blonde wig. The note stated, “After watching our youth director make fun of a holy week such as VBS I am asking for a called business meeting tonight to terminate his position. Every minister must wear a coat and tie or in church or else we should terminate them on the spot. We have an image to hold ourself up to. That goes for our pastor, too.”
I told him if he wanted to call the meeting we could have it, but if the meeting went against his wishes he would need to terminate his church membership. Do you agree to these terms? He said “No, this is my church and I will have my way. I’m not the one to cross ways with.” I put my arm around him and said, “Sounds good. Time for you to get to work then.” No pastor ever wore a tie or coat in church again after thatvday. He left and the church gained a health it had not seen in decades of his tyranny.
I recom
Thank’s Matt Henslee for your post… I’m a Brazilian Pastor, and I’m glad to know that we’re not alone on this journey …
We must always remember Paul’s words: “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry” 1Tm. 1.12
Amen, brother. Thank you for the encouragement as well.
As a pastor’s wife, I get ridiculous things said to me as well. One of the worst was on a handwritten note put in the offering plate that said, “You can’t ever say anything against teachers or our education system because teachers pay your husband’s salary.” I don’t know what I had said to cause such ire, but whatever it was, I was certainly put in my place.
My husband was interviewing for a position as an assistant pastor. The amount they were offering was not livable. They asked if I would also work, and when we said we were ready to start a family and I would be staying home with our children, they didn’t agree.
Turned out the amount they spent on bringing people in to interview and take them out for dinner was going to be deducted from the first year’s salary, as well!
Needless to say we didn’t consider going. We felt bad for having spent part of the guy’s salary, though!
I had a committee once that was considering a patently unbiblical course of action. I merely read several passages of Scripture contrary to said action. When I was done, one of the committee members said, “Well, if I was as smart as you, I could make the Bible say what I wanted it to also.” Until that moment, I never knew the Bible was a ventriloquist dummy!
This prayer:
“God, you keep him humble; we’ll keep him poor.”
I had the chairman of deacons upset with me once because I, as the Pastor, tried to work directly with lay leaders in developing a budget that more closely resembled spending patterns. “It’s not your job to put together the budget.” To which I pulled out my actual job description and read line 5 “develop and administrate church budget.” Stunned silence.
When Julia called me to complain about our youth fundraiser, I told her some biblical pointers we used for guidelines. She replied, “Well, I don’t know what the Bible says—but I know what I believe.” I said, “Then you’ve just ended this discussion.”
I heard someone tell a pastor he should revise and update verses of scripture so they would be relevant to todays world!
Oh my!
Twice I’ve served to head up search committees for a pastor to singles. On a phone interview, the wife of the prospective candidate said, “I don’t know why my husband has his resume out.” Sadly the senior pastor who was in on the phone call, wanted to fly him in for the position.
On another phone interview a candidate answered the question on being a pastor to singles position, “I guess I could do that for awhile.” I didn’t care if God called him on after a few years, but I wanted his heart to be in the calling.
I was told by the chairman of Elders in a church tgatI needed to leave after 3 months. When I asked him why, he said it was because my preaching was too focused on the Bible. When I asked him “wasn’t that the whole idea?”, he said ” no.” According to him, he was supposed to leave church on Sunday feeling good about himself, but I was challenging the people too much. I told him that if he felt challenged or guilty, it wasn’t me, it was the Lord. He imneduately began trying to thwart me on everything I did.
“You don’t need to love God that’s law and we’re not under the law” – Joseph Prince Ya just forget about that most important commandment Jesus talked about 🤦♂️
I once went to a church in veiw of a call. I had had a kidney transplant a few years before, and needed health insurance. I shared with them my need for insurance, and they agreed to pay half the cost. I told them considering the salary they were offering, it would be helpful if they paid the full amount. One of the ladies replied, ‘maybe you need to exercise a little faith.’ I said, ‘maybe the church needs to exercise a little faith.’
As it turns out they didn’t exercise a little faith…and neither did I.
As a young pastor in my first year of ministry, I had the privilege of leading a Thanksgiving service at a small rural church in our community. The host pastor invited me to his study to pray before the service. He focused my attention out the window on a brand new Mercedes Benz. He simply stated, “That’s my new Mercedes. Just got it this week. Someday, you’ll be a big-time preacher like me.” Without missing a beat, he bowed his head and prayed for God’s blessing on the service.
The lady who came to me after the service and loudly informed me about her upcoming “boob job” while shaking my hand at the back of the church; is an example of “things your pastor doesn’t want to know about”. It also raises the ethical question of “Is there ever a time when it is OK to fake an aneurysm in order to get out of a conversation”?
I was sitting in a district meeting comprised of elders and pastors. One church was struggling to grow and the head elder was very frustrated because people would come once to “check them out” and never come back. We talked about grace and love and the need to be friendly and develop relationships. His response was, “We gave them coffee and cookies…what more could they want?” *insert facepalm*