Pastors and other church staff have a plethora of stories to tell about weddings they have officiated. Unfortunately, they are often constrained from telling the stories lest their church members become offended.
For that reason, I gather the stories from the pastors on social media and become their spokesperson. For the most part, these stories are repeated only with minor changes. The essence of the stories is unchanged. There were so many great submissions. I probably need a part two.
- During the vows, the bride said no.
- An 18-year old young lady came in with her fiancé to see the pastor, who was 38 years old. The pastor said lightheartedly that this wedding was the first where he could actually be the father of the bride. The 18-year-old lit up and chirped, “Cool! You knew my mom?” Her fiancé had to explain to her what the pastor meant. She cried.
- The bride and her father fought with light sabers coming down the aisle to music from Star Wars. Neither the pastor nor the groom knew what was happening.
- The uncle of the bride sent a request in since he could not attend. He asked someone to read 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; instead perfect love drives out fear.” Unfortunately, the reader quoted John 4:18 at the wedding: “For you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.”
- The air conditioning was not working well for this summer wedding in the church; so all the windows were open. As the soloist was singing with a booming operatic voice, a fly went in her mouth. The song ended.
- The bride fainted during the wedding. Four times.
- The pastor did an outdoor wedding with several people in attendance who weren’t wearing shirts (the pastor did not specify the gender of these people). The bride had a cigarette the entire service.
- Guy in the sound booth started the wrong music during a wedding. Everyone got to hear “The Lady is a Tramp.”
- A couple requested the pastor to do a beach wedding. But they first wanted to see his bare feet to make sure they would look acceptable for the wedding.
- The groom’s ex-wife stood in the back of the sanctuary yelling “not” as the pastor read 1 Corinthians 13.
- Pastor was officiating a wedding on the bay when a man comes up in a paddleboat and says, “Don’t do it.” The bride responds by yelling expletives at him.
- At another outdoor wedding, the bride and groom were joined in the front by a goat as the vows began.
- This outdoor wedding had a stray dog as a guest. He kept bringing a tennis ball to the pastor and putting it at his feet.
- A pastor was asked to officiate a wedding by talking through an animatronic deer head.
- During the wedding service, a guest’s phone loudly declares, “You have reached your destination.”
Thank you, pastors and staff, for these hilarious submissions. Come back to the blog next week when I will share stories about funerals.
In the meantime, feel free to share your wedding stories.
This article originally appeared at ThomRainer.com and it used with permission.
I officiated a wedding once where the groom hired a helicopter to video the wedding from above. This was pre-drone days. For whatever reason the pilot hovered so close that everyone was holding on for dear life. Both the wind and sound were very strong. I had to shout for the bride and groom alone to be able to hear me.
The groom, who had long been told by his friends that he’d never marry, was a nervous wreck. When I reached the point of the pronouncement, he muttered, “Oh, .” Thankfully only the bride and I heard him.
I once officiated a wedding on the bride’s mother’s grave! It was in a large cemetery on a stifling summer day. Needless to say, the marriage was “dead on arrival!” Unbeknownst to me, the groom was wanted by more than just the bride. There were several warrants out for his arrest. He was taken to jail within a couple days, and spent most of their short marriage in jail!
It was time for the wedding to start and couldn’t find the groom’s men and groom. I looked outside in our church ball field and I see this pick truck with the grooms men and groom standing at the back of it. I motion for them to come in and see them setting some type of drinks down in the back of the truck. When they came in I could tell they had been drinking and smoking before the wedding. We made it through the wedding and the next day at church a lady who lives next to the church said, preacher do you want to see what the groomsmen were doing yesterday. She had taken pictures of the back of the truck with coolers and they were drinking beer and smoking before the wedding. The lady asks if I wanted a copy of the picture. I politely said no thank you.
I did a wedding on a Halloween evening, at a rented venue in a local woman’s club. I was told that the guests would likely be wearing costumes. I was not told the wedding party would be.
The bride was wearing a lovely conventional wedding dress, but trimmed in brilliant scarlett. Her makeup matched. Her face was whiter than the dress, with scarlett streaks down her cheeks. Her bouquet was a bunch of dead and drooping lilies. There were white streaks in her hair – think Bride of Frankenstein.
Her matron of honor looked like a dead ringer for Elvira. The best man looked like Bela Lugosi’s stunt double.
The DJ started a fogger for the processional, which was the toccata and fugue in D minor.
That evening began my custom of getting ALL the details of the wedding ceremony nailed down and clearly understood in advance.
Am officiating my daughter’s wedding in 4 weeks. Though I have officiated more weddings than I can count, still, I am nervous and emotional about it. This article somehow makes it better. thanks
My dad officiated a wedding when I was a teeanger in which a floral arrangement hanging from one of the side windows. The sound person responded with quick thinking and began beating the fire with a rug from the sound room. Oh, and he was dressed like he just got out of bed. Quite a sight!
I missed typing that the arrangement caught on fire. Which was evident as the story progressed!
In today’s world, people only wanted to show off for man’s admirations and self glorification like the Pharisees and Sadducees mentioned in the Bible under man made rules and guidelines. There is no Jesus Christ inside their hearts and minds. As we look back the many famous and royal weddings around the world solemnised by famous Pastors or Bishops or Archbishops and beamed live across the length and breadth of the globe through T.V chañnels ended in divorce in many cases because there is no Jesus Christ. In this point in time, people live their daily life as per their whims and fancies instead of letting GOD guide them. It is exactly like the days of Noah mentioned in the Bible. People are completely consumed by the materialism and materialistic gains of this world. There is corruption especially financial corruptions in every country including the churches as we see it.No country is exception. The only thing a true and born again believers has to do is to pray unceasingly to ALMIGHTY GOD for HIS blessings and guidance and protection and live our daily life in true faith in the LORD according to HIS teachings and always stand firm against the schemes of the devil.
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