It’s never good enough.
But still, you keep coming back.
It pulls you in. It hooks you. It won’t let you go. You know that it’s not real and not healthy but you still can’t resist the lure of escaping from your reality into a fantasy world where everything goes your way. It’s these little escapes that help you make it until, well, the next time you’re able to escape. Then you realize these little escapes have become bigger escapes that are now a way of life.
We’re all familiar with the kind of pornography that is centered around sexual immorality, that once was confined to the world of magazines and roadside adult bookstores. But there is a different kind of pornography. On the surface, it looks much more acceptable. The stigma is not near the same as it is with garden variety pornography. But this different type is still dangerous and its primary target audience seems to be pastors and aspiring pastors.
It’s called ministry porn. Here’s what it is and how you can fight it.
1. Understand the danger of your addiction.
Pornography is a perversion of the image of God. It treats people either as objects to be consumed or appetites to be fed. It’s a house of promises that are just out of reach built on a foundation of lies. As a result, rather than loving the real people God has put in your life, you treat them, at best, as obstacles in the way of fantasy fulfillment.
Ministry porn is no different. It is a perversion of the church—the body of Christ. It treats people either as steps up the ladder to success or beings whose worth can only be found in the so-called successes they’ve acquired. It’s a house of promises that are just out of reach, built on a foundation of lies. As a result, rather than loving the real people God has put under your pastoral care, you treat them, at best, as stops along the way to that fantasy ministry position.
We have to ask ourselves: do I love the real people I am ministering to and the God I am ministering for, or do I instead love a fantasy construction that exists only in my mind?
2. Confess your addiction.
Ministry porn addicts are never content with their current situation. They crave a bigger church in a more prominent part of the world. They long for more Twitter followers. They lust after the invitation to speak at big conferences. For most of these addicts, the next big thing never comes. When it does, it’s never quite big enough.
Are you caught in a cycle of chasing the next big thing? If so, confess it to God and ask him to teach you how to be content (Philippians 4:11).
3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Perhaps you have a friend in ministry. He’s ten years younger than you but ten times more successful, at least as you see it. He’s getting invited to speak at conferences and the folks over at Disney want to turn his last sermon series into a major motion picture franchise and a rollercoaster. Meanwhile, after last Sunday’s sermon on divorce, you’re just trying to keep your job. Your buddy got invited to speak at a conference in Hawaii and he gets to take his whole family. You’re just hoping that there’s enough money left over next week for you to feed yours.
You know that it’s wrong but you can’t help comparing yourself to him. If only you had what he has. Imagine how happy you would be and how much your wife and kids would admire you. Deep down, you know that you’re just as talented as he is and you’ve got more experience. You’ve been in the trenches for years. Your time has come—and gone. And there you are, four steps behind where you thought you would be at this point in your ministry.
In Christ, there is freedom from the heavy, anxiety-producing burden of trying to be someone else. Ask him to help you know that freedom.
4. Remember what real success is.
How quickly we forget that real success is found in obedience to God, not the approval of man. Sometimes our obedience places us on large platforms and sometimes it has us in an old sanctuary that would be completely empty if it weren’t for your immediate family and the guy asleep on the fifth row. Regardless of what it looks like, God is glorified by the obedience of his people.
You will never be content in a God who you do not trust and you will never trust a God who you do not really know. Study the attributes of God, and ask God to strengthen you faith in him in areas where it is weak.
5. Learn from a 99-year-old preacher and an eight-year-old kid.
Last week, people all over the world voiced their love and appreciation for Billy Graham after hearing of his death. Graham preached to millions of people and had the ear of several presidents. After his death, the United States government honored him by having his body lie in honor in the Capitol Rotunda. That doesn’t happen to a lot of folks.
When I found about the death of Billy Graham, I told my young son. His response spoke volumes about the impact that great preachers like Graham have on the world: “Who was he?”
No matter how great or influential you are, regardless of how many books you write, or how many Twitter followers you manage to acquire, you are one generation away from being forgotten.
Pastor, stop beating yourself up for who you are not. Stop comparing yourself to the big name authors and gurus who started churches in their basements that are now 25,000 strong. Just as you have trained yourself to turn away from pornographic images, train your heart to resist ministry porn and to be content with where you are for right now. God may have you in a different location tomorrow but today he has you where you are so serve him with joy.
If God has you spending the next 50 years serving Little Flock Baptist Church in Dump Truck County, Mississippi, please remember that you are no less valuable to him than the great Billy Graham. In fact, you, Graham, and all of the other great ministers like him have the same destiny ahead of you.
No matter how famous or influential you become, shortly after you die, you will be forgotten by most everyone but your family.
But, at the moment you die, you will be welcomed by God because you are accepted by him in Christ.
No amount of Twitter followers can match that.