6 Reasons Millennials Aren’t at Your Church

Millennials Church

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by Aaron Earls

[Update: Read the follow-up post 7 Ways to Draw Millennials to Your Church]

Why aren’t Millennials at your church? You don’t want them there.

I know it sounds harsh and is admittedly a bit hyperbolic, but that is the basic reason any group of people are not actively involved in your church body. You have created, be it intentionally or unintentionally, an environment in which they do not feel welcome.

If your church does not have anyone under the age of 35, it is because of the culture you have established. They don’t feel at home there and until they do, they won’t be there.

Obviously, I am using generalizations to speak about a large group of people. This will not apply to every Millennial everywhere. But we can still learn from the characteristics that are frequently found among young adults.

Here are six reasons Millennials may be staying away from your church.

1. You aren’t online.

Most Millennials do not remember a time before the internet. They grew up on social media and are called “digital natives.” It is not something extra to their life; it is a place they live their life.

Three out of four have created a profile on a social networking site. With it, they connect with friends (some of whom they’ve never met in person), communicate with the world, and check out your church.

If you have not established a web or social media presence, they have assumed you are not not interested in relating to them.

2. You are too inward focused.

If they see your church as spending all of its time and resources solely on bettering the lives of the people who already attend, they’ll go somewhere else.

While Millennials have a reputation of being self-absorbed – over half have posted a “selfie” online – they passionately support causes that inspire them. Over 80 percent made a financial gift to an organization in 2012.

Their biggest discouragement in giving is not knowing how the gift will be used to make a difference. They want to be part of a larger cause. If that’s not you, they’ll get involved somewhere else.

3. You aren’t trustworthy.

Well, maybe you are trustworthy, but a Millennial is going to make you prove it.

Two-thirds say “you can’t be too careful” when it comes to trusting people. Only 19 percent agreed that, generally speaking, most people can be trusted. They are cynical of those they do not know, particularly people in authority.

This is why we did the piece “False Facts: Why We Love Bad Stats.” Your audience will fact check your statistics and anecdotes – almost 4-in-10 Millennials already have. You don’t want to give Millennials a reason to distrust you.

4. You aren’t diverse.

Millennials are the most diverse generation in history and they want their church to reflect that.

More than 40 percent of adult Millennials are non-white, the highest share of any generation. About half the newborns born today are non-white.

If your church has no interest in reaching people outside of one ethnic or cultural group, your church has no interest in reaching Millennials.

5. You are too institutional.

When it comes to institutions, Millennials run the other way.

Political parties? Half describe themselves as independents. Marriage? Only 26 percent of Millennial adults have walked the aisle. Religion? Almost 3-in-10 are unaffiliated. That doesn’t mean they cannot learn to see the benefits of those institutions, but unlike previous generations, they don’t trust them inherently.

If business meetings drive your church and not a heart for bigger causes, you’ll drive Millennials away.

6. You don’t offer real community.

They recognize the need to connect, but they’ve chosen to do it through affinity groups and not institutions. Using social media, they have cultivated relationships with people next door and around the world who share their viewpoints and perspectives.

They want to have the support of their friends. Seventy percent of Millennials are more excited about a decision they’ve made when their friends agree, compared with 48 percent of non-Millennials.

They will find connections and community. If your church does not provide it for them, they’ll find someplace that does.

What’s next?

The church has to decide if it wants to reach the Millennials. They are open. It is simply a matter of whether we will put in the effort to communicate the gospel in a way that resonates with them.

It can be done. In our follow-up post, we look at seven ways to draw Millennials to your church and into your community.


Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) is online editor of Facts & Trends.

photo credit: tj.blackwell via photopin cc



  1. Aaron, thank you for this short piece. It is refreshing to see you mention “too inward” with number 2. In my opinion this is the greatest issue for the American church today. People want to see/know that the local church genuinely loves their community/city and are truly investing in the city in multiple ways. I have grown very weary of articles that think the answer to “reach” the younger generation involves what we do in the building on Sunday morning. However, a minor pushback with the language of the last sentence: I don’t think we want to “draw Millennials TO church” but instead we want to draw then INTO our community. Our word and witness in the city should draw them to want to be a part of who we are, otherwise we give church leaders the impression that it is about getting them TO our Sunday morning gathering rather than inviting them to do life with us, which as you point out is also one of the things they are looking for.

    • Aaron Earls says:

      Thanks for commenting, Brad, and for offering your feedback. I agree with your “minor pushback,” so much so that I will clarify the concluding sentence to include your suggested language. I do think we want to draw them to church (when that term is properly understood), but you are right that too many understand that apart from the community and as exclusively attendance on Sunday morning.

    • I hate to burst the writers bubble, but…
      These people left our churches because they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left us, it proved that they do not belong with us. 1jn 2 19 nlt
      It seems each generation becomes more selfish. The internet and electronic devices help us to become more and more self absorbed. The verse before that says,
      18 Dear children, the last hour is here. You have heard that the Antichrist is coming, and already many such antichrists have appeared. From this we know that the end of the world has come.
      I don’t really think the mega churches are helping

      • You’re painting with a broad brush. I know in my personal experience, many young people have given their lives to Jesus Christ and are saved, but their own church treats them like dirt for not being just like them. Many churches care more about money and tradition than they do souls. The church I just left was my life-long church and after years of our pastor winning new people to the Lord and them joining to the point we were bursting at the seams, the controllers who only show up to be the bosses picked a fight during a business meeting that caused the pastor to resign and a bunch of people to get mad and leave. There are some people who’d let every lost person in the community die lost if it would save the church money and preserve their traditions. Many people leave the church because the church treats them worse than the world. The one most important order we’ve been given from Jesus as a church, and the sole-purpose for the church’s existence, is to Go Ye therefore into the world and preach the gospel. But today many churches are only about playing ‘clubhouse’ and worrying about committees, money, traditions, and every other thing you can think of, but the one thing they’re supposed to be doing. The last thing on Christian’s minds is winning the lost. If any of them were doing what they’re supposed to be doing, new churches would be planted all the time, or old ones would be having to add more seating space for new members. One or the other. Not just closing the doors and being satisfied.

    • Pastor Greg says:

      I want to thank you Brad for your response and to tell you that I agree with you in you clearly defining to and into. Millennials want the church to be genuine and they will join us when we are but they are not interested in membership as we have defined it for years they are concerned about active faith community

  2. This list is great, but I would add one more. The sermons and lessons don’t give them something to really chew on. Many well established churches have pastors who are out of touch with the younger generation and preach, literally almost every Sunday, on hell, hell, hell without ever giving the people in the congregation the multitude of blessings and encouraging words from The Word. Just preaching salvation is not sufficient. A church must teach and disciple, then give those disciples avenues to reach out to those around them in a loving manner. Thanks for this. Look forward to the next one.

    • I could add a little more to that, as I agree with you. Really salvation needs to be taught in the world and real food for growth needs to be taught in the church. People get the idea that you’re supposed to bring lost people into the churchhouse and win them at the altar. That does happen, but the intended purpose of the church is for those who are already saved to become ever better Christians and to be more effective in the world. So yes, what’s the point of a preacher preaching on salvation to a room full of saved people? For one, it does none of them any good unless they have a false testimony, and two, it’s easy to preach to a room of people who all agree with you. It’s a lot tougher to preach hell and salvation to a lost person. So you’re right on. A preacher who just preaches salvation is not feeding his flock, and it doesn’t take a very deep understanding of the bible to teach salvation. What we learn after getting saved goes much deeper.

  3. Cleveland Evans says:

    It is good to think about these things. However, it strikes me that some of the differences claimed for Millenials really aren’t generational differences but just age differences that always occur. Among the above, I think the “more excited about a decision when friends agree” might be one of those. I certainly think I would have been much more likely to agree with that statement when I was in my 20s than now when I’m in my 60s. I think it’s always been normal for younger people to have less confidence in their decisions because they have less life experience. And part of the anti-institutionalism may be age-related, also.

  4. Actually, I think access to the internet has also caused millennials to explore their parents religious beliefs and, more often then not, realize they’re bogus. At that point going to church for many is a waste of time.

  5. John Thomas says:

    I wish it were really this simple… Many Millennials haven’t been raised in the church and have very little clue as to what the institutional church offers. Others are so full of commitments they can’t/won’t commit. No matter what, the “attractional church” model will reach fewer and fewer people as time passes even if these steps are followed: We must find where God is already working in the community and make that our church.

  6. One of the biggest parts I find lacking in all this is, of all things, Jesus. Millennials (myself included) are living in a generation where Church is no longer synonymous with Christ; it’s lumped in with everythng from Political Parties to Prosperity Gospel to Pretentiousness, Zealotry, Homophobia, anything BUT Jesus. Even among the Christians in my generation, we’re tired of Church, we want Christ; we want the message of Christ of course but we want Christ’s objectives to be the prerogative, not just the glue that kinda holds it all together.

  7. Thank you. Insightful. These are reasons I’m not in church, and I’m 57. Isn’t it the case that the values reflected in these 6 reasons were part of the creed of the counterculture of the late-1960s-early 1970s?

  8. R M Kontny says:

    Why because they are impatient and do not truly believe in God with their whole heart and their whole soul. They lack discipline and could never truly follow the ten commandments. They have not took the time to research or even consider eternal life. They do not understand the extreme importance of the seven sacraments. They follow the false Gods instead of the real singular God. They have not perfected the final exercise of forgiveness. Thet never tried to understand the Blessed Trinity. They never took time to turn the other cheek or tolerate those different from them. Instead they tailor something that fits and pretend to be Christian or non believers or whatever.They justify everything as ok with no control or cares.

    In conclusion they are spiritually lost and may never find their way to the promised land and in fact will be left behind when he comes!!!!!! Extremey soon!!!!

    • Have you ever considered the extreme importance of not wasted the LIMITED life you have making yourself and others miserable worrying about a non-existent eternity?

  9. Bekki Clark says:

    This is an interesting article, but I have no idea what a ‘millennial’ is. It might be good to explain it at the beginning of your article. I started off assuming you meant people born this millennium, but you are clearly talking about older people than that. I look forward to finding out. Thanks 🙂

    • Aaron Earls says:

      “Millennial” is a designation for the generation following Generation X. While the dates are not accepted universally, most would say Millennials are those born between 1980 and 2000.

  10. Thanks for the insights. These sound a lot like what I have been trying to share with our leadership for the past two years, but getting nowhere.

    We proclaim that we want to reach younger adults, but then we don’t want to make the necessary changes to do so.

    Sound familiar?

    Thanks for your efforts.

    • Seriously, name one tangible benefit of going to church.

      • Michael Cooper says:

        i am just curious what the context of your question is, Kelise? other than a sense of community, being part of something bigger than oneself, and helping to bring hope and healing to a world in desperate need; what else are you hoping to find?

        • All that you mention can be acquired through any gathering of like-minded people. You can join a softball team, the cast of a play, a stamp collecting club…or you can do something actually productive, like volunteering, getting involved in an activist group for equality, donating to help save the rainforests. What I’m asking is what tangible thing can church provide that secular entities cannot?

          • Michael Cooper says:

            It sounds like you’ve changed the question by asking for exclusive tangible benefits. What are some exclusive tangible benefits for not being part of a faith community?

          • Well, you save money by not tithing for one, you can sleep in on Sunday, you can get an unbiased education on the state of the universe without it being filtered by a fear of contradicting your “strongly held beliefs”. Now would you answer my question.

            (P.S. I just realized my first post was attached to your comment. I didn’t mean that. I meant for my post to be a standalone question for all. iPhones don’t cooperate with comment sections very well)

          • Michael Cooper says:

            None of those are exclusive to not going to church. All but one could apply to any club or social group as you pointed out. With respect to your original question, i was simply trying to get clarity, because i don’t believe that any answer you are given will be satisfactory to you, because of the inherent bias in your question. how do you expect me to believe that the education one receives apart from any faith is any less biased than the one that one receives in a faith community? as far as my life being “filtered by fear”, it seems that you have a tainted understanding of the faith that i hold. actually, it is my faith that enables me to live in a manner where my life is not dictated by fear, i.e. fear of what others might think, or fear of death, or fear of not being accepted.

            i never claimed any “exclusive” tangible benefits of being a part of a church. so my initial answer is a more than sufficient answer to your question.

            Have a great rest of your day.

      • Kelise, let me suggest one tangible “benefit” to think about. If you are a Christian, God’s will is that you be “conformed to the image of Christ.” (Romans 8:29, 2 Corinthians 3:18 plus various other references.) If you read through Scripture, that all happens in the context of community. You can talk about “going to church” but that misses the whole point of “being part of the church” in Christian community. You cannot appropriately grow in Christ apart from being with others in worship, discipleship, accountability, encouragement and service.

        If you are not a Christian, God’s will is that you be “conformed to the image of Christ.” You have to take the first step of responding to the Gospel through repentance and faith. I would hope that you’d find that to be a tangible benefit of “going to church” although you can take that first step anywhere at any time.

        Your question seems to imply, “What’s in it for me?” The better question is, “How can I better grow in Christlikeness and also serve others in helping them do the same?”


        • Oh for crying out loud. Let me spell it out for you. No, I am not a Christian. I don’t believe in the supernatural. I live in a world where I see an increasing number of people actually believing a made up god is going to end this planet within in their lifetime, which would also be in MY lifetime. As a non-believer, this wouldn’t normally bother me, except we live in a time where humans technological capability has grown to a point where WE are capable of ending life on earth, either actively, or through neglect. When I see people whose core belief system revolves around a god coming and ending everything soon going the ability to collectively self-fulfill that prophecy, it scares the crap out of me. So it brings me hope when I see more and more young people getting interested in science and reason. Understanding how pointless and childish it is to need an old book of fairy tales to tell one how to live their life. I realize that they can be good, and have productive, meaningful, and beneficial lives without a mythical father figure telling them what to do with a carrot of heaven and a stick of hell. That teaching children that anything they could ever do could be worthy of eternal torture is tantamount to abuse. And last but not least, that only WE have the responsibility for the status of the quality of life on this planet and WE have to step up and find ways to sustain ourselves as a species, and to take care of the other species whose lives we impact. There is no afterlife, there is only here and now, the time between now and the day we die so we must make the most of it, live EVERY moment to the fullest.
          And don’t feed me garbage about scientists who believe in god. Yes obviously Christians have contributed to progress. I get it. But contrary to what they think is was not their faith that led them to their contributions, anymore than the color of their hair. Faith, collectively, being the choice to believe something without evidence and despite any evidence to the contrary, only can serve as an obstacle to progress. It is irrelevant today, and a hinderance to tomorrow. People attribute every good thing that happens to them to their faith, but then how do good things come to those without it? Faith is like Dumbo’s magic feather. People are told they need it to do amazing things. But they simply don’t realize until they lose the feather that they are capable of amazing things all by themselves. It’s time to let it go. I hope ten years from now, no one under forty is still practicing religion, and ten years from that, no one under fifty, and so on. Fundamentalist belief systems are dangerous, repressive, and a hinderance to human potential. And more liberal belief systems only serve to enable the fundies. Science teaches critical thinking and skepticism, and to constantly reevaluate ones views when new evidence is presented. That is the essence of progress.

          • Kelise, thank you for your candor and clarification on your views. I’m grateful you are here engaging in dialogue.

            In your closing sentences, you mention, “Science teaches critical thinking and skepticism, and to constantly reevaluate one’s views when new evidence is presented.” Typically, when non-Christians say this, it implies that Christians have checked their brains at the door and have not explored the Christian faith from a rational view but, rather, from blind acceptance of what you have labeled a “fairy tale.” Certainly, there is the component of “faith” in the Christian life but it is not born of ignorance. To the contrary, it is confidence rooted in historical fact as well as best explanations of events based on evidence at hand.

            May I ask, have you actually explored the Christian faith in detail and, based upon objective research and careful consideration, found it lacking? Or, have you, yourself, taken a step of faith and staked your life on a set of a priori assumptions that dismiss Christianity out of hand without even giving it the same treatment you might with other topics of scientific or philosophical inquiry?

            If the former, perhaps you could explain how you came to your conclusions. I am always interested in hearing about the process people go through to get to their current perspective.

            Thank you.

          • I’ve explored enough to conclude that nothing “miraculous” or supernatural that the bible claims has ever been verified. Yes perhaps the bible mentions a few places and people who may have actually existed, and some events that may have actually occurred. But just as the existence of the city of Troy and the historical truth that a famous war happened there, does not mean that the Sirens and Cyclopses Homer wrote of in the Odyssea are real, neither does a few mentions of real places and kings make the whole of the Bible true. Hell, London exists, does that mean I can take a train from there to Hogwarts? Imagine if 2000 years from now a future civilization crated a religion around Harry Potter, and some over zealous paleontologist uncovers the ruins of London and proclaims ” this is the fabled city in the Holy Rowling texts! This proves Harry Potterism is true!”
            I have found nothing positive in the Christian faith that cannot be found in secular society, so take away that and all that’s left is Dogma, which I have already made clear is nothing to be proud of. In fact nothing positive in Christianity was even invented by Christianity. Things like the “Golden Rule” were around in writings much older than Jesus, in fact that’s probably been around since the birth of language when our early ancestors lived in caves and had to band together for survival.

  11. Oh My. Good stuff. I’ll happily pass it on.

  12. I personally find it appalling the number of people that accuse millennials for a lack of faith or commitment to the church. How is it that you can know the heart of another? Truly, please tell me. It isn’t our place to judge.

    Besides, this list simply highlights a problem that we’ve known about millennials (and young adults) for a decade or more. And it all boils down to community. Millennials that want to be a part of a faith community want just that, a community. It is a little easier for those that have children because they are connected to other parents and family, especially through Sunday school. However, those that are single and/or do not have children are lost in the fold. They may be of the same age as those with kids but their interests are different. They are facing different life challenges than youth and retirees. They are often over looked for opportunities to help in the life of the church, unless it is to help lead a youth trip (which requires time off of work). To put it quite frankly, they often feel like a square peg in a round hole.

    Now time for confession. I’m a millennial. I work in the church and I’ve experienced both sides of this problem. Before I was working in a church I was worshiping at a congregation for three years. I helped lead confirmation. I assisted in worship. I attended adult education. I was in worship almost every week. I sat and talked with folks after services. I moved away for a year. When I came back, I was forgotten. Only the pastors remembered who I was. I stayed a couple of months and I realized, after some prayer and conversation, that I was not the target of their ministry. What I mean is, that as a single, young adult male, there was no community for me. They did wonderful ministry with Sunday school and Confirmation. They brought in wonderful guest speakers for adult education. They worked amazingly with the community and community organizations. But I didn’t fit. So I left that church and it took me a year and a half to find another church that fit and it wasn’t until I was engaged to be married that I was noticed again. I love the church. I always have. I didn’t want to be on the outside, I just was. I love working in the church, but this is a problem. I’m not the only one to have an experience like this.

    Community is huge. The Christian faith is not a solitary one. It never has been. So when people are on the outside because they don’t fit into the life and ministry of a church, why would they stay? Millennials are extremely aware of alienating language, actions and programs; even if they are not intended to be as such. We want to be a part of a community. We want to give to the communities that we are a part of. We want to invest in these communities (with time and money) and more importantly we want them to invest in us (with time and relationships). Our involvement in faith communities need to allow giving and receiving on both sides, and if that doesn’t happen, we will lose any generation, not just the millennials.

    • Michael Cooper says:

      Thanks for sharing those insights as a member of the Millennial generation. As a parent of a couple of members of that generation and someone who has spent a significant amount of time ministering to that particular generation, I heartily agree with your assessment. Authentic Biblical community is a clear attraction to this generation. Perhaps, some of them are frustrated with the attempts of previous generations (mine included – I’m a Boomer/Buster) to force a pseudo-community upon others. While classes and “growth groups” offer a semblance of community, the connection is still somewhat superficial. I would love to hear some ideas of how others are connecting this generation and others for that matter in a real and vibrant community.

      • We’re playing with Cross+Gen community models at the Facebook Group “Killing Sunday School/Birthing Cross+Gen Worship” but are running into trouble building systems that connect Millenials. I fear we may had lost an entire generation. Come to the site and give your insight if you have the time. We’re in need of methods and models.

  13. Great list! Digesting and sharing. I know many “millenials” and look forward to what we might do differently together!

  14. Randy Barnetson says:

    Young people need a Cause. Most churches only want a supportive audience and have no opportunity for input. We just want them to come out, sing loud and give money. That doesn’t cut it anymore..

  15. I’m in my 30’s and do not attend a local church for many of the reasons mentioned above. Unless, you are in the church’s inner circle (and you get there by giving the most money), then you are just an invisible voiceless body there warming a chair.

    I’m a single mom raising a son on my own, and what really got to me was having friends who were also raising fatherless children and tithing into the churches they were attending come to a place where they needed (even just a gallon of milk), and the church did NOT help them which goes directly against God’s Word. They tithed because they loved God.

    Pastors preach every Sunday that we must have the faith to give, and God will bless you and not forsake you, but when a single mom asked for milk for her kid, they didn’t help her or they say they don’t have the funds to help. See any hypocrisy here? Wait we (including the widow and the fatherless) should give from our lack no matter what but when she and her kids need help, all of a sudden their faith has disappeared and their funds are limited.

    Basically, we can see through all the crap. We can see that church is run like a business, and I will not allow myself or my son to be preached to by people who operate this way.

    For most pastors, I believe what started out as a true calling from the Lord to preach His Word and start a church slowly gets destroyed by the ways of this world, by dependence on man (the money bags of the church) which is a lack of faith in God to provide, by his growing pride of being looked up to by others as some middleman between them and God (hello, the veil was torn, you’re just a vessel dude).

    Every time a pastor does what the money bags of the church tells him to do over what His Spirit is telling him to do a church will not flourish or attract those who worship Him in Spirit and in truth – they can easily discern what is going on. He should listen to God despite the possibility of losing the money bags and let God work and bring in those He wants there.

    People aren’t going to church because we read the Word to then we see what’s going on in the church and see how much it doesn’t really follow what it preaches and we won’t subject ourselves to that. I’ve seen God move more in small group Bible studies with no real leader than in the church. God has done may miracles for me and my son, and I have known and felt His beautiful and tangible (yes, tangible) presence sometimes when watching worship songs on Youtube and just praising Him in my room.
    Draw close to God and He will draw close to you – no matter what no matter where. My son is 12 and he’s smart enough to see things too.
    The church is not a building. It is His people, and until the focus becomes up building up His people instead of actual buidlings (as a business), I won’t be going.

  16. “There is nothing wrong with the church that discipleship can’t fix.”

    Can’t remember who wrote that just now but I wholeheartedly agree. We’re not called to grow the church. We’re called to “go and make disciples.” If we focus on that, the church will grow. With millennials. With elderly. With middle-aged and children.

  17. Rusty Kennedy says:

    I think Kelise answers the question better than the article. The 6 reasons are all symptoms of the real problem. The real problem is that the power of the Gospel is void in most churches/pastors/believers. There is no sense of “awe”. We have dumbed everything thing down to an explainable and systematical faith. “We have an app for that… We have a program for that…” But most Christians never grasp the fact that the Holy Living God has taken up residence in their mortal bodies… right now. They are working harder to get there when they die… Until then, Christians will walk around non-victorious, trying to attain something they already have, and never know it. They think they are doing the right thing because that is what they are taught from the pulpit. So why would a “Kelise” find any interest in that belief system? If believers actually saw themselves as saints… then they would see other believers as saints… treat them differently… and the list you started with would naturally happen.

  18. John Sinclair says:

    I have grown a little weary of people blaming other people. No one is perfect. If you find a perfect church, it would have NO PEOPLE. Any group that does not attend Church is because they do not want the challenge to their pride or their self-righteousness. There are Churches of ever description including “Seeker Sensitive” and “social gospel” If the Church does not fill your bill, work to make it better. If your feelings are hurt, think of it as a means to spiritual maturity. The problem with most people is too much self-esteem. Paul says we should esteem others more than ourselves. Choose you this day who you will serve…

  19. I am a millennial. I am American living in New Zealand. I believe if people have had a clear gospel message and stirred by the holy spirit and believe in Jesus. They can never be the same. Why are millennials leaving church? Maybe its because we have watered down the gospel and it has not become real to church attenders? Yes some of these points are relevant but not the heart of the problem in my view. God is the same yesterday today and forever. Man is also the same in there shortcomings and needs.

  20. Thanks to all of you for your comments. I am a 64 year old pastor trying to guide a church in Bardstown, Ky. through a Revitalization. This has been so helpful.

  21. Church communities need to be more inviting, not just pushing people to attend church. I feel that when someone wants me to go their church, it is more of a numbers game than it is about community or wanting to strengthen or grow a friendship. In my experience, the people in church are very short in having a conversation with anyone they don’t know very well. Anymore, I am turned off when I talk to someone at church and all they want to address is what my beliefs are and what ministries I am in, and why I’m not in such a ministry, etc. Church communities should have a warmer and friendlier approach; talk to people, ask where they are coming from, what they do outside of church, or what kids of interests they have. I’m not trying to sound overloading or making it about personal lives, but if people in church would show a truer interest in people, then the relationships might be more relevant.

    I have a friend who has always bugged me about going to church with her. When I have in the past, she always feels that she needs to “show me off” to as many people as possible. And when she does stop to talk to someone when I am right there, it is always a conversation that I have no knowledge or interest in. Being more introverted, I get irritated when I am bombarded with too many people at the same time. A tip that I would like to offer if you bring a friend to church and want to introduce him/er, keep it to a small number of people, don’t engage in a conversation that makes “your guest” feel left out, and don’t toss ministries or membership at your friend–some just might need more time, or see what the environment is like before committing. I also think that it is important to be mindful before attacking or judging other religions because you don’t know where that person is coming from.


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  6. […] acquaintance of mine recently posted a link to an article that sought to provide pastors with six reasons that millennials aren’t at their church. I often find these sorts of articles both depressing […]

  7. […] last week, Aaron wrote on six reasons Millennials aren’t attending churches. That post went viral over the weekend and serves as a precursor to this article on how churches […]

  8. […] Because you act like you don’t want them there. […]

  9. […] statement from a post by Aaron Earls jolted me last […]

  10. […] 6 reasons Millenials aren’t at your church and 7 to draw them to your church. […]

  11. […] I have seen posts where the exodus is explained by the church being resistant to change, the church “speaking a foreign language,” or even the church not being online. […]

  12. […] need only spend five minutes on FB before you see articles like this, and this, and this, and this, and this written by twenty and thirty-something’s who have always had a roof over […]

  13. […] 6 Reasons Millennials Aren’t at Your Church […]

  14. […] the reasons millennials may be turned off from your church and work to correct those. Have an online presence. Strive to be more diverse. Look to serve […]

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