Hymnals and Bibles are being replaced in many church pews by iPads and Kindles. iPhone and Droid screens light up sanctuaries, auditoriums and arenas on Sunday mornings.
When you are thinking about using a smartphone or tablet during the church service, here are 10 humorous, but important commandments to keep in mind.
10 commandments for using iPads in church
10. Thou shalt have the Bible app installed.
Seriously, it’s got over one hundred million downloads. I don’t think it is possible to love Jesus and not have YouVersion on your smartphone or tablet.
9. Thou shalt look up occasionally just to let the pastor know you’re listening.
If your eyes are down during the whole sermon, you’re either asleep or checking your Instagram feed. C’mon, don’t lie. You were double tapping that cute baby photo.
8. Thou shalt not yell, “Yes!”
Even if you are responding to a point the pastor made, everyone’s going to think you just got past a really hard level on Candy Crush.
7. Thou shalt not be tweeting, unless it’s about the sermon.
Don’t send tweets about where you’re going for lunch. And, most definitely, do not retweet a sermon quote from the church across town. You know your pastor follows you on Twitter.
6. Thou shalt delete any TV viewing app during NFL season.
Sometimes the temptation is too great. You don’t want to even have the option to take a peak at pregame shows if the sermon runs long.
5. Thou shalt have the volume turned off.
Nobody needs to hear your weird email notification sound. Plus, if you happen to break commandment number 6 with the sound turned up … your team is so going to lose.
4. Thou shalt not hoard the church WiFi.
There’s only so much bandwidth to go around. Don’t be the guy who waits until he gets to church to download a month’s worth of app updates. Some people are trying to stream the game, er, the sermon.
3. Thou shalt not bring a charger to plug in to a wall outlet.
Are you really going to endanger the lives of those taking up the offering because you freak out when you drop below 75 percent battery life?
2. Honor your pew mates that your battery life may be long on this earth.
Dim that screen brightness down so as not to blind everyone sitting near you. Thankfully, no ships need your iPad to serve as a lighthouse to help them steer clear of your church building.
1. Thou shalt have no other gadgets before thee.
There is a strict one per lap limit. If you have your tablet out, keep your smartphone in your pocket. Using your Kindle? Don’t pull out your iPad. At that point, you’re just showing off and clearly breaking commandment 4 and probably a few others.
What rules did I miss? What technology laws would you put on your two
stone computer tablets?